MLK
Last night I had a dream...more like a mental video of a memory, where my brother and I were at a park with my father where there was this tube slide that I simply would not slide down. I climbed up the ladder and looked down it but couldn't see any light the end. I climbed down and looked up the slide, still no light. I took a step back and looked at the slide. It was rusted, cold and metallic even though I watched my brother go in and come out with no problem and my father assured me that nothing would harm me, I never went down that slide.
I remember crying when they demolished the park because I never got a chance to try the slide.
Life is a lot like that slide, and in so many ways I am still that punk ass child that didn't bother sliding due to the fear of the unknown...
I'm not going to miss out this time.
(as long as it isnt that one girl who lives with one dude, is having a baby with another, neither of whom are you... if taking a chance involves her, take a step back and wait the park to get torn down)
I was always afraid of being poor even though I had gone through poverty for parts of my childhood.
But as an adult it would be my fault.
I spent a year without spending money on myself.
All of my share of family oil revenue, rent collected and Indian casino provit sharing went to others.
All the work I'd done was done for free.
I had to learn that poverty sucked but that one could live on much less than he could imagine.
I've always hated attention even though I've been popular since preschool and cool since kindergarten.
Now I'm working on my fear of getting too much attention.
It's odd - I run nightclubs and get paid for having game but it's more of an act than my real more reticent personality.
We all have to face our fears head-on.
(unless it's that girl brohammas is speaking of.)
Usually when I have my Martin Luther King moments they involve either ( @ )( @ ) or food.